Little dabble in astrology, reset week and kiddo time.

This week has been a reset. It's been an odd week. Tackling a lot of inner feelings/emotions/re-assessing my life. All crammed into a few days. Today is a New Moon. Mars went retrograde last week in Aries. My moon rests in Aries. Depend on 2 charts I follow the first chart has it in my 2nd house of money/personal resources and the other it's in 3rd house of education/neighborhood/siblings (this one makes sense).

 Eitherway Our moon represents our inner world in a nutshell. Whatever your moon sign is this will often be the inner world your navigating that you don't always show the outside world. It's the workings of your mind/visions/way of thinking/perceiving the world. Our sun signs represent who we are in the outer world, what our outward representation of ourselves is.

 With Mars Retrograde in Aries any aspects in your chart pertaining to Aries may be feeling in kind of a funk right now. It's kind of creating a resistive pause, lack of movement, lack of direction, lack of knowing what the hell to do and no real motivation to make any progress right now.

(you can draw up your chart here: https://www.astro.com/horoscope?nhor=432608. 

Maya did a video in how to navigate this site and create your chart. She goes by Whole Sign house but the default mapping is Placidus. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWXmyNhfU1Y&list=PL26dMraUeLWEFV4Q-HKimOvm6-xUstqV3&index=10

I bounce between sometimes. Whole house generally seems to be more accurate for me). 

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My finger is still tender at times and with certain usage. I should be cleared tomorrow to return to work sunday. I'm going to stay hopefully that it doesn't get re-injured like that again. It's my livelihood right now haha. 

I've had a little push again to devote more time to studying for the Mblex. I need to be committed to this and to passing it before I move to WI. Even if I don't plan to massaging full time or for main income I don't want to quit it completely. I'm also hoping to expand more on Craniosacral therapy in WI. This is ultimately an area I really prefer over Massage. But I think to practice Craniosacral therapy there I will need a massage license. To get my certification with my Teacher I also need to invest time to preforming it here. I have to get 20 logged cases, 15 cases with other practitioners and then i think 5 session with the teacher herself and read so many books to get an official certification with her. I have little certificates for the each class i've taken with her. But having a nice certificate through her would go an extra leg in my qualifications. Plus all the time spent practicing on people just ensures my strength in the field. 

I had a binder that I had created when I signed up for the Angel Studies course. 3 months in I realized that I didn't have the time nor interest to studying Tarot cards or specifics Archangels lol. Could have spent that money on better things but at the time I was really excited and invested in it. Then I had a sudden wake up one day that spending my time on that stuff was not my true calling and then I had a sudden urge to get rid of all my tarot stuff. 

So I was left with a binder that I had set up all nicely with dividers and so on. It felt wasted until I got the push to sit down and narrow in on what I need to study per the mblex guide. So I wrote out all the area i need to study and then divided those into the binder dividers. Just general organization for studying. I have this text book one of my teachers recommended years ago that she feels (still feels) is a great base resource for Massage Therapists. I'm going to be reading it through and using it as my main study reference. I got rid of all my books from massage school because I hated the organization of the books. The school created their own books and i felt they were lacking. 

So between this studying and using the ABMP test prep program i'm hoping by December i'll be able to test already. But I won't set up the test until I feel confident with it. One of my big things is The anatomy...specifically the specific origin/insertion points and then the biology stuff. Those are so detailed and not something i ever really got down. I know from a pictorial view where they are but by point names I don't. But I will.  

With this time off i've had all week with kiddo. We've been playing some games, mostly Uno and watching movies and shows like Mr. Bean. I've gotten the wave to decrease his computer time. He spends 4+ on the computer for school then was wasting the rest of the time on Youtube and Roblox. He was cranky, not moving much, and not playing at all with his toys. So now he only gets those on the weekends and for very limited time periods. The rest of the time he can watch PBS kids, netflix, play on his game systems or play with his toys or read books. So far it's going smoothly. This is how we lived (minus netflix) prior to Covid. Things changed once we got Internet at the house then it was just a slippery slope that i've been trying to rebound from. 

Parks finally reopened here. We have this park a few blocks from our house. They put new equipment in just before or around the time of the closures. It's been pretty hot here (90's-100's) so we haven't been outside much all summer/early fall but we popped over briefly yesterday after ice cream outing. He only made it  30 mins then we ran out of water and he got to hot. We were the only one's there yesterday. 

 

Freezing potatoes, Another Trip of MoM and brief farmers market stop.

This morning has been busy so far. I stopped at another round of Market On the Move. Below the potato photo's is my photo's of the weeks round up. Wasn't quite as much as other trips but I think they've been coming up short in their hunt for produce as of recently so what they get divides to smaller portions. We still get the 60lbs of goodies though, I just think in previous weeks they've had a surplus and have been able to give a little more. This weeks amount is certainly enough to get us through the month. 

After that we hit up a farmers market I used to go to for eggs. I was pretty surprised at how small it was. No vendors of produce/breads/coffees/or prepared foods. Was mostly just plants and then crafted goods. I did hit up the local honey vendor and then across from him was a mid eastern vendor with dates and spices. I bought some dates and a jar of spice she formulated for rice foods. She gave me a little bottle of meat spice for my purchase. I'm looking forward to both. They smell very smilar to garam masala but not with that cinammon sweetness. I"m excited to test them out. She also gave a good tip for cooking rice. Add Salt and oil when cooking the rice. I used to just cook bland with water or toss some chicken boullion in. I will now try adding salt and oil. Yummy. 

Now we are about to head out for an acupuncture/shiatsu session for Mannix. He enjoys getting it so I'm going to start booking him monthly appointments again. 

To the end the busy day we will hit up the grocery for some lunch snacks and some staples we are out of. 

I had to do something with the potatoes the MoM trip weeks ago. I realized how much I like having the onions diced, frozen and ready to grab from the freezer on busy nights so I decided to do the same with the potatoes. 

They have to be blanched prior to freezing, this also allows them cook up quicker. Especially the russet potatoes. Those take forever to cook through. 

Then I put them on a cookie sheet and flash froze them. This was round 2. I had a big gallon freezer bag plus half another in the end. Once the flash freezing is done you scrape them off the sheet and put them in a baggy. This allows for loose potatoes to grab from the bag for a meal. I kinda overcooked these so I will only add them to a dish that is mostly finished as they will soften to much otherwise. 

My freezer is getting so full. I have shredded zucchini, diced broccoli, diced oions, diced celecry, diced potatoes and then some fresh corn a friend gave me from a big corn haul they did. 

The goodies form MoM this week. 

The juice I put into Popsicle molds for my son to enjoy on hot days. I'm excited about the yogurts because after the antibiotics I had to be on i've been ensuring i'm getting probiotics in my tummy again. The red potatoes i diced up right away and made a potato/onion/veggie hash with eggs on the side for breakfast this morning. 

Yummy local honey. Dates and mid east spices. 

 

Moving on

 

This full moon brought about a big push. Waves of inspiration for moving on. 

I've been feeling the pull for the past 2 years to move back to Wisconsin to be around family. And the last few weeks the pull has been very strong. I've had some moments of fear and some moments of anticipiation. So it's definitely been a roller coaster of feelings, thoughts, emotions and so on. 

The last week or 2 it has been exceptionally strong. And then my ex threw out there asking if I was still going to keep with my idea of moving home. For him it would be easier traveling to get Mannix for summer vacation now that him and his wife have a child. Part of me wants to be like 'fuck you, you chose to move all the way across the state, why should I make this move to make things easier for you'. But in reality my decision to move back has never had anything to do with my ex so him throwing out the question is just coincidental. But i'm sure my ex being my ex he will view it as something i'm doing for him. 

Anywho, I've been getting waves of recollections from my childhood in Wisconsin. Waves of remembering and feelings. While I understand things will be much different than I remember there, because its been 16 years, i'm being flooded with memories of the lake energy, visible changes and experiences of the seasons. The inspiration that place gave me and the joy I felt there with a much friendly nature. 

I have not been able to keep my center here. The energy of this place at times Rubs me raw. The energy of this city, the sun here, the heat here, the extra effort to enjoy the nature here. I noticed it when I first moved here March of 2012 but over time I slowly started seeing some life in the nature. It wasn't until the Mansoon rains that I felt alive. The second the season would end my inspiration would fade too. I understand that the fall and winters in WI may not be the most appealing to me anymore since i've moved away but they play a vital role for me internally. It gives me a true sense of the cycles of seasons. I get waves of it here with feelings but most often I have a hard time SEEING it. Sure it can be forced by people decorating externally for each season/holiday but it does not reflect what my soul requires for true congruence. 

It's hard for me to verbalize that concept but thats the best way I can put it. 

I'm scared shitless. I have no idea what the future holds for me. Especially starting over again in another state. I"m not certain I want to keep doing Massage. I'm so sensitive to energy that i'm feeling so taxed working on people. Part of it may be because i'm doing it full time (up to 4-5 clients a day 5 days a week). And it's exceptionally taxing when I get clients that truly challenge my own energy field (another reason i'm looking at my caffeine addiction again. I started back up again but i'm realizing it takes about 2-3 months sometimes for me realize just how fucking horrible it is for my empathic side. And also my diet).

So i've made the firm decision to go ahead and begin planning for a move back to Wisconsin. I am estimating to do the trip around april next year but part of me has had heavy nudging to leave as soon as November. That scares me haha. Figuring out how to move last minute like that. I have anxiety worrying about who will drive with me from here to WI. I'd drive my car and whoever comes out will Drive the Uhaul back. Long trips give me so much anxiety. I'm used to traveling with the military in that they do all the work for you. They pack/haul/ship. We would just drive to the next location or fly to the next location, wait for our stuff and then bam life started new in the new location. I might be over-complicating this trip but it's a huge first for me and to be back home again will be an adjustment for Mannix and I. 

I would live with my mom for a few months until I get settled in a Job there. I will probably go back to working in the general work arena. Get a job with benefits and retirement plan. I just cant fathom continuing with massage when it affects me so much emotionally, energetically etc. And my heart is just not invested in it as much as I was earlier in my career. I truly have no idea what the next chapter holds for me but I need to trust this pull to move back to WI.