Books that Shifted me.

Happy Friday :)

I hope everyone had an amazing holiday week so far. It's been a very lazy holiday break for me and my son. We haven't done much aside from me working and him going to the sitters. I always have big dreams of what we'll do but then we wake up and realize we don't feel like actually doing things aside from our hobbies inside the house. 

Today's post i'd like to share with you some of the books that I came across at the start of and the beginning stages of my awakening that really helped me along. These books really resonated with me and I will never forget them. I recommend them for anyone that might be in a limbo of understanding life right now, especially if your spiritually in limbo as to what you believe or understand. 

1. The Gifts of Imperfection

Brene has really made her place in the world the last few years. I came across this book at the start of my depression. I was still married. My husband at the time had just left for deployment and a few days before he flew out he told me 'I think we need counseling'. He flew out a few days later and for the next few months flying solo with my toddler and him in a danger zone on top of him saying he thinks we needed counseling had me doing all I could to fix myself....because obviously there must have been something WRONG with ME if he were to say such a thing. I started seeing a counselor for myself which turned out to be a bust because all the counselors i would see in my life would tell me there was nothing wrong with me and they didn't understand why I was in their office. Of course, once my husband returned and i mentioned looking into counseling he pulled a 180 and acted like he never said such a thing and NO he wouldn't and didnt want to do couples counseling. 

I came across this book and decided to read it. It really shifted my perspective and helped ease the anxiety I had of myself. It  made me realize we are humans and not one of us gets out of this process of life without imperfections and that these imperfections aren't the negative things we make them out to be. They are what shape us as individuals and make us who we are. They have their beauty and purpose in our lives and we are whole lovable people with them. 

2. The ABC of Enlightenment

I still flip through this book occasionally. Osho has a mixed bag of worms with his reputation but that doesn't mean his insights and perspectives aren't enlightening and food for thought! This book fed my urge in a period when I was craving new perspectives on life. 

3. The Tao of Inner Peace

This book is still one of my favorites! I often recommend it to people that sound like their in a rut. I got this book from the practitioners office when he was giving away a bunch books on his coffee table. Little did I know how much this book would shift me. I started reading it just after as I was awakening. It really lifted me up and coasted me through some rough patches. It gives perspective like the Gifts of Imperfection does but from a different angle. This book just really really resonated for me and It's one I will never give away from my bookshelf! I accompanied this book with The Tao Te Ching book. 

4. Let Your Spirit Guide Speak

 I got this book after I started hearing my guides audibly. The first time I heard one it freaked me the F out! All  it said was 'Hi, Krista'. The first time I chalked it up to a mental electrical flaw haha. I was folding laundry and I heard the voice as if it were right next to me. It didn't sound as if it was in my head. I remember trying to analyze the voice...was it male, was it female? It actually shocked me because it sounded neutral! I remember thinking I couldn't tell if it was male or female voice. But I convinced myself there is no way in hell that could have been anything other than a random thought fire from my brain. I convinced my brain out of it and kept folding laundry, though kinda freaked out. I heard the voice again a few nights later while I was in that in-between state just about to fall asleep. The same voice and the same words 'Hi, Krista'. At this point I had to accept that I was really hearing something. What it was turned into a journey for me haha.

 I perfectly came across this book not to long after and things about Spirit Guides just made way into my life. And so I learned we have Spirit Guides. Utilize the shit out of that resource is my only advice! lol though they wont' help you in all the direct/instant ways you think they will. They work in gentle inconspicuous ways. This is still a life to be lived and learned from and so ultimately it must be you doing the work and making the decisions of your path. Divine interventions do happen but only when it's necessary. Its up to us to accept our challenges in life and work through them. Knowing you have support that will assist you in some way is so reassuring. I recommend this book to open you up to the concept of Spirit Guides from a gentle perspective.

One of Debra's other books is a good read as well. I developed my own little prayer that she talks about in this book and I find myself saying it at least once a day when I remember it in my rough spots. 'Please help heal my fear based thoughts and anxieties'. The Only Little Prayer You'll Need

I also just found out she has a series called 'tending to your inner garden' which is now on To Read list!

5. The Red Book: A Deliciously Unorthodox Approach to Ignite your Divine Spark

One of my friends could see on some level the change I was going through at the beginning of my awakening. Not sure she was understanding all of it but it made her think of this book and think of me. She reached out and suggested this book to me. I borrowed it from her and it was such an amazing book for me!! It essentially gives you the confidence to follow your inner belief system. It gives you avenues of Belief systems (Taoism, christianity, budhism, and so on) to consider but also advocates creating your own system of belief that best suites you! I mean what happens if you believe a little of each of the belief system but can't fully resonate with one specifically....form your own! As long as your soul is singing it's happy song in what you believe about your universe and it puts you in flow in your life in a healthy, positive way then go for it. It encourages you to find some form of belief that gives your spirit joy and that Divine Spark! It encourages self-care practices around your belief system to help you stay in the flow of you and whatever form of your belief system and the world around you. 

6. Assertiveness for Earth Angels

Doreen has pulled a turnaround on her works regarding spirituality and metaphysical things. She denounces any of her works from this genre. So I'm not sure how much is actually available in stores anymore. But i occasionally would listen to some of her works and readings a year or 2 before she converted back to Christianity. As far as my opinion on her change over I feel 'to each their own in life'. She made the conversion for whatever reason, perhaps her soul was meant to create a stir like that for people to help solidify their own realities and what they believe. Her conversion doesn't discount all the beautiful works she made upto that change. I resonate most with her tarot/oracles cards than any other's...their energies coexist the best for me where as some other tarots have felt very odd and off to me. 

This book came to me during the initial phases of my marital split. I learned that portions of my marriage and the way I was being treated was mental and emotional abuse. I'm currently past most of that stuff as i've done months of individual counseling (post divorce) and also had one on on specifically with a Domestic Abuse counselor during my divorce process. But this book assisted me in so many ways. It went more beyond the view of being an  'earth angel' (i believe this was just the avenue that would draw me to the book) and reached more to my unconscious repetitive behaviors that had me deeming my ex-husbands behavior as ok or tolerable things when they really weren't. It taught me that its necessary to speak up for ourselves in our lives. 

In addition to this book i'd like to recommend Co-Dependent No More by Melody Beattie,  A very necessary book for our culture today. This one helped me make sense in more depth of my how my own beliefs and patternings put me in unhealthy relationships/friends to begin with and how to work through some of the stuff so I don't repeat the unhealthy things again. 

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There are so many books i'd love to share about but to keep this post from getting to large I will stop here. These are some of the core books that helped me in beginning of my journey. 

Books/readings by Alan Watts also really opened my eyes to concepts as well. 

I hope some of these books are inspiring and helpful to some of you! 

What were some of the books/readings that really shifted your perspective in life or helped you through your rough patches?

A little about me

: One of my plans for blogging with be to release a new post every Friday or Saturday. So check back weekly to see what's new from my mind in that time :) :


How to summarize the whole package that is Krista...That's a tricky one.

We will start with the basics. 

I am a Wisconsin Native. Currently transplanted in Arizona for the last almost 8yrs. I grew up in a pretty typical 80's-90's family life. Nothing crazy or wild happened growing up. I lived a pretty happy mellow childhood. I'm the youngest of 3 siblings and the only girl. We grew up at the outskirts of the city with a few tiny woods nearby and lots of grassy fields to play in. We weren't monitored much because in the 80's and 90's freedom to roam was still a thing. We were often called back home for dinner via Fog Horn. I shit you not my mother used this method to call us home for dinner until neighbors began to complain about the sound of the fog horn haha! After that she had to resort to strengthening her voice amplification.

I was a tomboy that preferred to hangout in the fields/woods much more than playing with dolls/barbies. I loved to sing (still do) and would often sit in my room most nights bellowing out some tunes to kids 'We Sing' cassette tapes until my parents tolerance level was reached. We Sing turned into country music classics which turned into a mix of artists like Alanis Morissette, Garbage, LeAnn Rimes, Deanna Carter, Dixie Chics, Natalie Imbruglia, Jewel, Michelle Branch. My life goal from 3yrs old until HS graduation was to be a singer. After HS I was dreaming of moving to Nashville to become a country singer. However, my nerves and my lack of any real voice lessons/guitar lessons made me realize that dream wasn't gonna work out for me.

After High School my Dad suggest looking into Massage as a career because I was so awesome at giving him feet/back massages after his long days on his Mail Route. I figured 'why not?,' as holistic health stuff was always slightly on the back on my mind. I attended Massage School for a whopping 3 months before life took a course correction and my parents began a long divorce. I was too stressed out by being the last of the 3 kids left at home and being turned into a middle man between my parents while going to school fulltime that I opted to get married to my BF almost a year earlier than planned. We rushed the marriage (we skipped involving family and married at a court house), i quit massage school and so began the path that turned into a 13 yr journey as an Air Force spouse.

Being a military spouse had it's ups and downs but overall I enjoyed the military lifestyle and getting to live and see many places I otherwise wouldn't have been able to. I got to meet a lot of amazing long term connections and friends that I still keep in touch with occasionally today.

As my marriage progressed, however, things just weren't going along so greatly as the years went on. 2007 was probably the starting point that I began to get little nudges from my husbands behavior towards me and of my own emotional feelings and behaviors. I began to realized we weren't fully on the same page in our marriage. 2007 would be the what I consider the precursor to my Spiritual awakening that really took off in 2016. My marriage continued on but after our year apart in 2007 as he was gone for a full year with work, we didn't come back to each other as the same people we had left. Things slowly started fizzing out over the next 8-9yrs.

Within that 8-9yr period We moved and lived abroad for the first 3yrs, my parents divorce finally finalized and my dad came down with terminal cancer. The following years I became pregnant and had my awesome son! We moved back to the US and landed in AZ (I flew here pregnant and my son was born in AZ). Within the first year of my son being born my dad passed away from Liver Cancer. Within a few years I was in a pretty bad depression as I was coping with new motherhood, coping with the fluctuating grieving process of my dads passing and feeling ever so alone in my marriage. I reached a point of depression where I became suicidal. This would be the ultimate end of The Precursor and begin the transition into my Spiritual Awakening (but more to come on the details in future posts). I managed to pull through the 'Dark Knight of the soul' and not actually commit suicide. I kept it to myself because I didn't want people to know I was planning it. But life happened and a turn of events occurred that was my spiritual awakening which sent me on a roller coaster of awareness's and new hopes.

I decided to go back to Massage School once again and this time it worked out. However, the more I began finding myself and reconnecting with the old me, and most especially as the spiritual awakening progressed; it began to threaten my husband in some ways. My marriage crumbled the happier I got with my inner growth. We separated a month after i started Massage School. We officially divorced a year and a half later. That was a very tumultuous year for me and I am beyond amazed at the many forms of support I received from family, friends, acquaintances and mentors. Their strenght, support, belief in me and kindness kept me holding on to my dreams when my dreams felt completely impossible to reach. 3 years later I am here to say there is always a light at the end of a tunnel, even if it doesn't look like there is one. I am now in the middle of my rebuilding phase of life but I am not the same person I was before all these events.

I am now aware of much more than I was aware of otherwise. I have a stronger faith in the invisible support team we have with us at all times. God (insert whatever your name for it is), Angels and Guides. They do exist and are always helping you whether you aware/believe of it or not. However, your acceptance and belief does open you to more support and assistance as you are more willing to ASK them for it and more open to accepting the help and gifts.

So who is Krista now?

I am a dreamer, a visionary (i sometimes struggle with conveying my minds thoughts into words for people). I still sing. Probably don't get outside quite as much as I'd love to these days but i'm still called to nature. I try to garden and most of the time i'm successful but boy oh boy is AZ weather a tough one to navigate gardening through. I am a homebody who also craves the occasional extrovert experience (thus why blogging is more my route than YouTubing). I get over stimulated very easily/ quickly when i'm in extrovert mode so it doesn't last long and i'm back to being my introverted self. I crochet and sew and occasionally draw/paint.

My son trails along with me in all of this. I have him full-time through the year, minus summers and somehow we manage to jive through life mostly in-sync with each other. We do have our butting head moments as he has a strong personality of independence and leading; not always great when it comes to situations that listening to Mom is a necessary haha. He is a kind, sweet, thoughtful soul and those butting head moments are usually minor.

 I am 2 yrs into my a career as a massage therapist. I am grateful to all the support from my mentors for helping me to reach where I am currently at in this 2 year period. And especially grateful for the clients that have seen success in their health and journey's while under my touch and presence. My favorite modalities are relaxation, somewhat of a myofascial based therapeutic form of massage and CranioSacral Therapy. I am still learning, growing and expanding in each of those area's. Growing and Learning in any arena of life never truly stops in my opinion!

I thank you for visiting and checking out a little of my back story. I look forward to feedback and blog topic suggestions. Feel free to reach out if you have any thoughts/questions you'd like to inquire about or share.

Take care for now!
Krista

Whats your definition of meditation and what does it look like for you?

Hello Lovelies and thank you for coming to my page.  This blog is still in the infancy stages so some changes may arise as time progresses. My thoughts have been begging to be shared and given a home (outside of my head or journal). And I know that some of my thoughts may prove to be useful and helpful, uplifting and inspirational for some people. It felt due time to take that little plunge and get back into blogging.

Today's thought of the morning arose regarding Meditation. Many of us have a general idea of what meditation is or looks like and most people immediately think of the good old classic image of someone in comfy yoga style clothes sitting on their zafu (sitting pillow) in lotus pose with fingers in a mudra position (think finger touching thumb) while trying to keep the  mind from thinking any thoughts or focus on anything that isn't emptiness or silence.

I am here to tell you that is simply one generalized perspective and pretty misunderstood. Meditation takes many forms and presents it's differently for each person. Some thrive on specific meditations forms/practices (my favorite is Yoga Nidras! The none sleep one's.) while others find that meditation is something that already exists within the range of their daily or lifestyle activities (sports/exercise/hobbies etc).

I was introduced to a neat little meditation App called HeadSpace  just at the cusp of what was going to turn into my pretty intense spiritual awaking (blog to come shortly on this). Head space helped me realize that the mind does not stop talking but rather you learn to be with that head chatter, learn to ignore it and learn to be easy with yourself on the journey of meditation without having those unrealistic expectation of what you might have thought meditation should be.

As my meditation journey progressed the last 3 years I have also found that meditation isn't linear in it's appearance. There are some stages in my process of life where I DO NOT  have it in myself to sit all calmly and silently on my cushion with breathwork or mind clearing. That form, however, works great for grounding me and calming me in times of anxiety and overwhelm; It allows me to reconnect back to me. I have learned that meditation must fit into the cycles of me.

For me meditation is simply retrospection/introspection without interruptions. It's a space to get quiet and allow things beyond my daily mind to surface. It's reflection in a space that allows a much higher mind and clearer perspective to shine through with better wisdom and clarity than the mind that operates during the daily bump and grind. It's softer, it's kinder, it's chalked full of perspective and often time's brings answers to things that have been troubling me.

What does my meditation look like? It takes many forms. Most time's it's just me with my coffee cozy on the couch in silence first thing in the morning before i have to wake my child for our morning routine (I purposely wake up 1hr early every morning to have this time). Other times I am doing what one would see as classic meditation; Lotus pose on a cushion trying to clear my mind and listen to my body. Other times it's while i'm doing my crafting hobbies, driving in the car, drawing mandalas, doing yin stretches or qigong.

None of those times do I intentionally go looking for the meditative mind (aside from the classic meditation) but they are times that i've realized, for myself, the meditative mind presents itself. These are the forms of meditation that naturally occur in the cycles of me. 

What does meditation look like for you? What is your definition of meditation?

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